Waiter Rant

The Hitman tries to make a reservation.

Actual phone call……last year.

“Good evening the Bistro. How many I help you?”

“Halo, Halo?” (French accent on a cell phone)

“I’m here. How may I help you?”

“I am Jean Reno.”

“Yes?”

“I would like to reserve your entire restaurant for a private party tonight.”

Its 12:00 am and the kitchen is closed

“I am sorry Mr. Reno but the kitchen has already closed.”

“Do you know who I am? I am Jean Reno. I am a French movie star. I was in the movie The Professional. Perhaps you have heard of it?”

The Professional, a compelling story of a hitman finding redemption through the eyes of a small child, is one of my all time favorite movies. Reno played the Hitman. Of course, I suspect bullshit.

“If you are Jean Reno then who played the hero in "Le Dernier Combat?" (An early Reno film.)

“Pierre Jolivet.”

Merde. It’s Jean Reno.

“Sir, I am a big fan. If the chef was still here I would make him wait but sadly we are closed.”

“Merci.” Hangs up.

Godammit! I wanted an autograph!

(Swear to God it happened just like that!)